May 22, 2006 10:56 PM
Newsletter 22
I've been extremely busy since I sent Newsletter 21 and then
my home computer went haywire and had to be completely reformatted.
By the time that was successfully accomplished, a lot of time had gone
by.
We've had highs in the 110s of late, so it looks like the coming
summer will be even hotter than last year's. The semester is winding
down; this is the last week of instruction. Then I think there will
be a reading week and then exams. Summer Semester will start in
mid-June and end on July 22. I have just bought airline tickets to SC
for June 19 through August 8, so if any of you will be in SC during
that time, let's get together.
Best wishes and stay cool!
Q. Do you plan to own a car and drive while you are there?
A. I came here with the intention of not getting a car since taxi service is plentiful and inexpensive but I wanted to get a license so I would have the option of getting a car at any time or so that I could rent a car if I wanted to go on an excursion or travel around the country. I am going to have to come to terms with the roundabouts first, though, and learn my way around Al Ain better before I think about driving. One thing I want to do while I’m here is save money and I am convinced that I can save more money if I don’t buy a car because it will be less expensive in the long run for me to use taxis and not have the expense of a vehicle.
Q. Doesn’t the fact that Emirati women wear black robes and hair coverings and that some even veil their faces mean that they are subservient and oppressed?
A. From what I’ve seen, the answer is a resounding no. They wear those items of clothing because that is the style and the custom. I’m sure there are some oppressed and abused women somewhere in the country, but so are there in the US and I’d give an educated guess that the percentage of abused women in the
The main difference I’ve seen in public family interactions is that the children are usually extremely well-behaved and there are never any confrontations between parents and children. Parents are calm and quiet in talking to the children and the children are calm and quiet, too. I’ve only occasionally seen any children running around in the stores but few if any are shouting or shoving or being obnoxious in public. It’s not part of the culture. But they all seem happy and content and there is a strong and definite feeling and attitude of love and caring among family members, including the men. I still remember one of the first times I saw a man in a dishdash and head scarf at Mega Mart. He was pushing a shopping cart and a little boy was sitting in the child seat. They were in the dairy aisle and no one else was there at the moment. The man was walking very fast and making a sort of “zoom” sound while the child laughed delightedly. That’s probably the most overt thing I’ve seen a parent do but it was apparent that the two had a great relationship. Also, for all the value that’s placed here on having sons, I’ve seen more proud papas squiring their little daughters around than I’ve ever seen in the states. Now let me add that in Saudi Arabia, our next-door-neighbor country, I understand that the plight of women is very different. So I cannot speak for how robed and veiled women are treated anywhere else in the Arab world.
Q. I for one would LOVE to hear about the culture and where you are and people and food and buildings-- Also, pics would be GREAT!!!!
A. Well, I wish I could describe Al Ain for you but it is so overwhelming I know I can’t do it justice so I haven’t even tried. Think beautiful; think date palm trees everywhere; think landscape architecture that would blow your mind; think of a place where every fence, bridge, freeway underpass, roundabout, building, garden, park and dwelling is a work of art; think of beautiful colors on everything; think of a pure blue sky uninterrupted by towering trees, clouds, high mountains or anything else (except the occasional sand storm!); think of sunshine all day every day (except during sandstorms); think of never being cold! Think of Arabian-style arches instead of boring square or rectangular openings, think of decorated windows, doors, entrances, balcony overhangs, gateways, etc.., think of lush parks and public gardens with large playgrounds; think of highway underpasses that rival displays in any art museum in the world, think of freeways with green trees in the medians and banks of vegetation on either side and sand dunes hovering in the background; think of vast miles/kilometers of sand surrounding this lovely oasis and know that Al Ain is a jewel in the crown of the UAE and the Arabian Desert.
Okay, enough high-flown, flowery prose! It’s all true, though! Actually, I’ll try to include more description of things in future newsletters and hope to buy a digital camera with my next paycheck so I can send pictures soon.
Q. Is your apartment furnished as yet, and are you still able to launder with no mopping?
A. By the time you find yourself reading this newsletter, you’ll know that the answers are: that the apartment is furnished in my preferred minimalist way and I finally have a few hand-woven kilims (a type of rug) and a hand-woven hall runner but I still want to get an electronic piano. And yes, ever since the laundry drain pipe was divested of the little ball that was blocking it, I have been successfully using the washer without having to mop all the water into the floor drain. Hooray!
Thanks for sending your questions. Keep them coming and I’ll do my best to address them.
Today is Thursday and it is a weekend day. I went shopping this morning in a store that is kind of like the dollar stores in Columbia. It's called Al Ain Gift Markets and everything is priced 5, 10, 15 or 20 dirhams ($1.36, $2.72, $4.08 or $5.43). I bought a slip, a house dress, a wastebasket for my bedroom, a hammer, a shower curtain and some sandalwood scented soap.
Since it's the weekend, the store was packed with shoppers, especially families shopping for back to school items for the kids. I didn't even try to go down the school supplies aisles! It was the first time I had been in that store. I'll go back sometime when it isn't as crowded so I can look around better. The kinds and varieties of things they had were almost overwhelming. Think Dollar Tree combined with Sam’s! It is a huge store with an upstairs that you get to by walking up a very long, very steep ramp. It was very hot up there. But they had vast amounts of shoes and clothes there. If it hadn’t been so hot up there, I’d have spent more time (and probably more money, so maybe it was a good idea I didn’t last long!).
I came home and put the hammer to good use by putting hooks into the cement wall in the office to hang the clock I bought weeks ago at Ikea during my trip to
Now for some cultural notes. One of the cultural practices here is that men do not talk about their wives and it is not appropriate to ask a man about his wife; it is especially inappropriate for a man to inquire about another man’s wife. The Arabs take the reputation of females very seriously and are quick to protect them. Even men who have lived in the US or other western countries have a difficult time mentioning their wives. For example, a couple of times library’s driver, when talking to me about his young children, has said, “He say to he’s mother …” Not, “He says to my wife.” An Emirati man at work who wears the dishdash and headscarf with whom I’ve recently had several informal meetings at work, has a few times referred to his wife during these conversations. When I mentioned that my daughter was going to have a baby and it would be her fourth C-section, he said, to indicate understanding about the import of that, “I am married and I have a sister and, not my w--, uh, not my uh, w—wife, but my sister and my friend’s wife have had this kind of surgery.” He has lived and attended graduate school in the US but even now can not comfortably utter the “W” word, even when talking to a female, and I’m sure he would never have said it to a non-relative male.
Arab husbands here do many kinds of things that a lot of men in the US would never think of doing because they consider it “woman’s work.” For example, doing all the shopping for food and for clothing for all family members including the wife, etc. I asked one robed and veiled woman at the library if she knew a good place to have curtains made and she said hesitantly, because Arabs don’t like to say something that will disappoint the hearer, “No, actually, my husband does that kind of thing. I don’t know anything about it. I’m sorry; I’m very sorry I can’t help you.” I will say here that I also see a lot of husbands and wives shopping together and even whole families shopping together, so it all depends on the situation and the people involved, but there is a definite trend of males doing the shopping.
I’m fascinated b women wearing the abaya, shayla and face veil or burga (partial-face mask). The National (Emirati) women in Al Ain wear the black robe that covers them from neck to wrist to floor and scarf that covers neck and hair. Some also wear the veil either some of the time, for certain activities or all the time. The supervisor of the Maqam Science Library, an unmarried Emirati female, wears the robe and scarf at work. Maqam is the women’s campus and all library employees except one are female, all the students are female. The day she and I were to meet with Ali, our immediate supervisor, in his office at Zayed Central Library, she was in his office when I arrived and to my amazement she was wearing a veil. I could only see her eyes and hands. She kept it on throughout our meeting even though I was present and even though on my first visit to Maqam libraries, accompanied by Ali and Brian, she welcomed us and gave us a tour of both libraries but wore no veil the entire time. After giving it some thought, I realized that she had been alone in Ali’s office with him – albeit with a wide open door, before I got there and it would have been foolish and inappropriate to suddenly whip off the veil just because another woman joined the group. I felt distinctly uncomfortable during the entire meeting, though. But it was my first experience and I’m becoming used to that kind of thing now.
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